Deadlifts while crying.

My VSC story started the week I signed up as a member at Valkyrie gym.

That weekend was the VSC comp date.

I came in as a spectator to get to know people and see what all the fuss was about.

8am and the room was electric.

Nervous excitement filled the air. Without knowing what I was there for, I knew I was a part of something important.

Sitting on the rubber matting and drinking batch brews from Josie's, I got to witness the event from the side lines; but I felt it like I was in it (the empathy is real).

People who I would later come to know well and call friends, just doing their very best.

They didn't have big egos, or even something to prove.

The warm up lifts built the excitement and tension. Everyone was speaking in a whisper and those about to lift were pacing to keep warm and ready.

Like a fly on the wall, I watched it all go down. Obsessed. I could hardly believe what I was lucky enough to witness.

One by one, these folks blew my mind.

I was moved by Jules doing a flexed arm hang with focus that would challenge any athlete. She held in there as long as she could, eyes pinched closed.

Levi’s snatch test effort obliterated my perception of hard work.

I saw Ali walking around outside to get warmed up for her deadlift event.
There had obviously been a lot of work put into it by her; the stakes felt high.
She lifted double her body weight. The first time I'd ever seen something like that.

Her coach, Alice, cried.

Ali hugged me, and I’d never even met her.
I was profoundly moved by the community spirit in this little gym.

Fast forward one year and it's VSC time again!

I didn't think twice to sign myself and my partner up, neither of us could wait to have a go!
I was very nervous about the idea of ‘performing’ lifts in front of everyone.
But I’ll try anything once.

Training up to VSC was some of the best training I've ever done!
First hand, I learned the value of consistency and started to understand what it meant to just stick to the schedule and give it what you've got on the day. My feelings on the day started to have less and less of an impact on my results or effort. I just got the work done.

Feeling good one arvo, I came in to train after swimming at the beach. Still sandy, with my beach towel next to me, I deadlifted 100kg (at 55kg body weight) and felt I had more in the tank.
That was significantly more than I’d ever done. It filled me with excitement and my goals stretched - I was going to push for a double body weight deadlift!

But it wasn't to be.

Everyone told me that your nervous energy on the day translates to adrenaline and you get better lifts!

Apparently, not for me. The nerves overpowered me and I couldn’t calm myself down. I felt crushed, like I was struggling for breath. I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing by even being there.

Panic and fright filled me. Old demons I hadn’t acknowledged in ages came into the room. Suddenly, I was dealing with ego and expectations, hope and anxiety with a sprinkle of grief. Spicy.

My first and second deadlift attempts failed. Couldn’t break my warm-up weights off the ground.
I shook uncontrollably.
I was unhinged.

After the second failure, I stormed out of the room, ran around the block and pressed my face on the cool brick wall. I cried my little heart out.
My partner, Oli, came and found me.

I told him I was never going back. I was serious.
But he was kind and reassuring (damn it) and described how understanding everyone in the room was.
Fine. I’ll try again. And probably fail.

My third and final deadlift attempt on the day was 70kg.
Surrounded by 30-odd people I came to wholeheartedly love, I locked out the bar with tears streaming down my face.

30% less than my standing PB only 2 weeks before.
Nowhere near the magic number I was hoping for

But one of my greatest achievements of all time.

My friends cheered as if I'd lifted a car. Support and care and warmth surrounded me and held me. I eventually felt like I'd won something bigger than a number on a board.

One year on and I'm a coach at this beloved gym.

I'm organising a VSC of my very own.

I’ve been through adversity and seen the other side.

I couldn't be more excited for all the under dogs 🐕